knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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