I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wear drunk well.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
