She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
