No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
