I think I died a long time ago.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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