hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
