how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
