i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A+ Viking dick
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
