Me. At least after what I've been through.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
