I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
