clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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