Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
