R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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