He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
