toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
