he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
