I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
