so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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