You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
smell my finger.
worst night to have a conscience
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
