you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
