super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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