things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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