Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
