She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
BRING THE BAGELS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
