HIV tests are more positive than that guy
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
