I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
