She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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