he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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