Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
