we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
