I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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