from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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