Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
