Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize