do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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