tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
