I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
4 words: hood of his car
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
