idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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