Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
