we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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