So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
