oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
