wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize