I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
