I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
