It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want her autograph on my taint
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
