Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
