tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
