Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
