I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
