im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
