Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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