1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
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