Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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