turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
