Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
