One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
True strength comes from lack of pants
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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