I can tuck mytits in my pants
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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