Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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