Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize