I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
then he tried to convert me to islam
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize