She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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