Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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