i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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