around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this will be a night to untag.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
